One of two Banner of Heaven faux-bloggers written by a woman, Mari Collier was Miranda Park-Jones’ sister in law (her brother was Miranda’s husband).  Mari herself was an active, LDS woman, married but without children.  There was nothing particularly scandalous about Mari; her most controversial posts revolved around a misdelivered package, a calling to nursery, and the trials of having her mother move in with her.  Nonetheless Mari is interesting as an examination of “Mormon Nice.”

By this I mean that, although Mari is active in the church and at no risk for leaving it immediately, almost all of her trials come from her desire to be understood as righteous and normal.  Her initial post, Teaching the Ideal, Living the Reality, considers the differences between the ideal life proposed by the church and real life that most of us lead. Specifically, she is a wife, but not a mother.  Since she isn’t living the ideal, should she feel left out?  While being a mother is broadly important in the church, it can also be a very visible sign of one’s orthodoxy.  Mari, who understands her role in life primarily as a mother, is worried about what her childlessness means to other people.

Other posts concern her respect for classics of Mormon cinema, being civil on the blogs, whether to tell your relatives that you blog, the spiritual status of body altering behaviors (plastic surgery and anorexia), doing costly favors for fellow members, and her mixed emotions regarding her mother starting to date again.  All of these themes touch on outward shows of orthodoxy.  Mari is determined to be a good example, even if she is not finding the comfort that she thinks the gospel should provide.

Speaking of which, Mari has a troubled past.  She refers to it frequently, but never goes into detail and downplays it if asked directly.  It forms the foundation of the tension in her relationship with her mother (there appears to have been a step-father who was abusive or alcoholic or a non-member in her past).  She is clearly in a lot of pain, but a desire to appear normal, forgiving, giving, loving, and orthodox prevents her from acknowledging it.

Allison said that a lot of Mari’s experiences came from her own life, but it would be a stretch to say that Mari is autobiographical.  Mari’s devotion to Mormon nice is tested time and again and we begin to see the cracks forming as the blog continues.  Nonetheless, we know from Allison’s apology and DKL’s recent interview that more strained obligations were coming (Miranda and Greg’s affair would impact Mari directly, possibly resulting in more houseguests).  I’m actually glad for Mari that the affair remained unconsummated.  Instead, her final post, in which she has a dream telling her to just let go and stop worrying about what other people think, is the most satisfying coda on the blog.  Also, she got to open up the package, finally, and eat the goodies.  Good for you, Mari.