Lapsed Mormon on HBO’s Big Love
There’s an interesting new review of HBO’s polygamy show Big Love up at the New York Sun. Interestingly its written by a lapsed Mormon who takes the show to task over its portrayal of Mormon culture. Some of the points I agree with. The Evangelical social tendency to hold hands when they pray certainly isn’t something I see among Mormons. (Indeed on my mission it kind of weirded me out at first when I experienced it – being the naive 19 year old that I was – especially the hand squeezing when they really liked something) On the other hand I’m sure there are some Mormons who pray over their rifles when hunting. For good or ill. I also think we ought cut them some slack since the figures in the show aren’t Mormons but polygamists who presumably broke off from the church in the 1920′s. Mormon culture has changed a lot the past 90 years.
BTW – if you want a list of all news reports dealing with the show, this Google News feed will provide it.
Comment by Clark Goble — March 8, 2006 @ 12:01 pm
According to the article in the Austin-American Statesman, one of the wives is supossed to be a “mainstream Mormon.”
Not sure if our newspaper got it wrong, or if Big Love has been telling us half-truths (“It’s not about regular Mormons!”)
Comment by Ivan Wolfe — March 8, 2006 @ 12:42 pm
I’m fairly sure it is either misreporting or confusing it with some of the Mormon neighbors. The show is supposed to be taking place in Sandy. (Indeed the address they live at reportedly is actually the mall there)
Comment by Clark Goble — March 8, 2006 @ 12:50 pm
According to one of the descriptions of the show that I read, the first wife is a Mormon who went along with polygamy to preserve her marriage and keep her husband.
Comment by John Mansfield — March 8, 2006 @ 2:08 pm
Except that the guy’s family are more “traditional” polygamists, aren’t they?
I’m curious about all this now.
Comment by Clark Goble — March 8, 2006 @ 2:44 pm
I’m very impressed by that review. He made some very good and interesting points regarding Hollywood’s disconnect to religion as well doing a great job defending our Church, even though he doesn’t belong to it anymore.
Comment by Rusty — March 8, 2006 @ 3:50 pm
I have an an aunt-in-law who married the son of a well-known polygamist, as that son had formally renounced polygamy and was a temple-going mormon. When his father was about to pass away, the son was asked to return to the movement. He did and my aunt-in-law went with him, probably to keep the family together. Years later, he committed suicide and she has remained in polygamous households since.
Comment by John C. — March 8, 2006 @ 5:15 pm
Anyone know where they are filming the series?
Comment by Dave — March 8, 2006 @ 8:16 pm
I noticed that the church’s website now features a longer press release on “Big Love.” It provides a link to the New York Sun article. It also criticizes HBO’s disclaimer.
“HBO’s decision to place a clarifying ‘epilogue’ after the first program, which states that the ‘Mormon Church’ discontinued polygamy in 1890, is appreciated. However, the Church believes that if the statement is intended to clarify the distinction between Latter-day Saints and non-Mormon polygamists, it is inadequate, both in its language and in the fact that it will appear only after the first episode.”
Comment by Justin — March 8, 2006 @ 8:27 pm
I’ve read that it’s filmed in Santa Clarita and Fillmore, CA.
Comment by Justin — March 8, 2006 @ 8:32 pm
In response to the press release linked by Justin, the church PR people seem to be playing fast and loose with the Associated Press styleguide. They quote the statement: “The term Mormon is not properly applied to the other … churches that resulted from the split after [Joseph] Smith’s death.” This is used to justify the instruction that polygamists in Utah not be described as fundamentalist Mormons. However, as everybody knows, the polygamists in Utah are not a church that resulted from the split after Smith’s death. Rather, these folks split off during the early 20th century, when the LDS church gradually abandoned the practice of polygamy. The AP styleguide statement obviously doesn’t apply, so fundamentalist Mormons they are, I suppose. (Since the church now seems to defer to the AP styleguide on this issue of usage…)
Comment by RoastedTomatoes — March 8, 2006 @ 8:53 pm
This story says that they are filming on location. A few other articles I noticed mentioned a few Wasatch regulars of film making. So I assume that it is at least partially filmed here.
Chocolate therapy. Do I see a client for my wares?
Comment by Clark Goble — March 8, 2006 @ 9:22 pm
You’re right Justin. I did a google news search and found this story that says:
I’m a bit surprised given the large film community here. Of course perhaps filming elsewhere is wise so as to avoid protests and other controversies.
Comment by Clark Goble — March 8, 2006 @ 9:24 pm
I’m pretty excited to see this. One of the reviews said there isn’t any swearing with characters saying heck and darn, probably a first for a HBO show.
Comment by jjohnsen — March 8, 2006 @ 9:36 pm
Interesting point, RT.
On a similar note, I noticed recently that BYU Studies’ LDS FAQ has an entry defining “Mormon Fundamentalists.”
Comment by Justin — March 9, 2006 @ 1:50 pm
I’m pretty excited to see this. One of the reviews said there isn’t any swearing with characters saying heck and darn, probably a first for a HBO show.
Who needs swearing when you have large dollops of forbidden sexuality?
Comment by Christian Y. Cardall — March 10, 2006 @ 10:40 am
#16
ho needs swearing when you have large dollops of forbidden sexuality?
I think I’ve just found a new life motto……
Comment by Ivan Wolfe — March 10, 2006 @ 12:05 pm
Some might find this National Review review on the show interesting.
Comment by Clark Goble — March 10, 2006 @ 4:43 pm
I don’t understand why the “official”, “mainstream” LDS church is trying to distance itself from plural marriage while it is still part of the “doctrine” and “scriptures” the church uses. (D&C 132). It’s not like they took it out of the book or anything. I know the church members don’t practice polygyny in life now, but it is still an accepted belief that men will have plural wives in heaven for all eternity, as explained in temple marriage ceremonies. Do church officials forget that when they state their opinions on polygamy? Please, someone enlighten me. Respectfully.
Comment by Christal Young — March 15, 2006 @ 3:32 pm
The larger question should be if the anti-polygamist laws could be overturned would the LDS Church implement the doctrine once again? As Ms. Young so aptly stated it is believed that plural marriage will continue into the next life. Also is it not allowed that a man can be sealed to more than one wife if he is ever widowed?
Big Love may mislead the unwitting public about the mainstream LDS churches position on polygamy but it does shed light on the woman’s role in the religion and hierarchical patterns that have existed since the banning of the practice.
Besides, most cultures within this country have been deemed fair game by the entertainment industry. We only need to look at the history of the Italian, Black and Native American cultures and the gross misrepresentations that have been displayed at their expense. You cant tell me that many a Mormon hasnt gotten his kicks off of seeing the volume of entertainment bastardizing these cultures.
In the meantime the masses will decide if “Big Love” lives or dies just like any show. Until then enjoy the free advertising…
Comment by David — March 15, 2006 @ 8:52 pm
Even though the show (to date) hasn’t explicitly mentioned that the characters are Mormon – anyone familiar with the LDS Church (I’m a Jew, but I love to read and learn about the LDS) would know that the family depicted is a Mormon one. There are lots of references to LDS culture and the show takes place in Utah. I think the show is great. Every religion has its weird (to outsiders) traditions and ideas so I don’t take issue with them being displayed on TV. The LDS Church has been very secretive for a long time now, and with the technology that modern times have brought us – many of the most sacred (not secret any longer) traditions such as the temple ceremonies can be found on the internet. I am very interested to hear what mainstream LDSers think of the show…
Comment by Mr Nice — March 20, 2006 @ 2:39 am
I am an active member of the LDS church. I am faithfully temple-married to a wonderful woman for 11 years and have 5 children. I happened to catch parts of an episode of Big Love this past week. I had not heard of the series previously and did not see the disclaimer at the beginning of the show (I came in part way). So I initially thought it was about members of the mainstream LDS church. The dad made several comments about “LDS”, “Sandy Utah” (there are no pockets of polygamists in Sandy that I know of – I work in Sandy), and “don’t let the bishop know . . .”
And so, assuming that the show was an HBO depiction of real LDS people, I was very offended. It seemed to stress sexuality and also a subjective role of the wife(s). I can assure you that although my wife and I enjoy an active sex life, it is very private (as I am sure most married people understand) – also it has a proper balance in our lives. Believe me our 5 children keep us very busy. And as far as the role of the mother and wife the show was way off from reality. My wife and I are equal partners – I get the same list of honey-dos that any man can expect each weekend. I change my fair share of diapers and sometimes do the shopping to help out. My sweetie would express her appreciation to be a stay-home mother. Between us, she has the college degree where I do not. She could easily have a career outside the home, but has chosen (on her own) to focus on our children for now.
Men in the church perform much of the leadership duties, however women also play key roles. An average Sunday LDS worship service would have both men and women giving the sermons and Sunday School teaching. The church calls members from the congregation to perform all the requirements to run the ward – both men and women.
My wife would never beg me for a car like I saw depicted in this episode. Like any real couple, we would discuss our needs together and what we could afford and decide together what to do. If I ever tried to give my wife an ultimatum – I would reap the whirlwind!
I was also bothered by the secretive conversations the dad had with his other polygamist friend. I am sure that most mormons who might happen to surf onto the show would probably switch to other channels (as I did before the episode was over) just due to the conflicting and half-truth messages and the focus on sex.
Comment by S Pierce — March 24, 2006 @ 7:59 pm
S,
Note that I don’t have HBO and haven’t seen the show.
My understanding is that the disclaimer would only air with the first episode.
There are certainly polygamists in Sandy. I have a co-worker that grew up in Sandy and can name several. Another co-worker lives a few blocks west of Sandy and has a polygamist family next door. You would never guess it driving by. It is an upper middle class neighborhood and they don’t live in a compound or anything.
Comment by a random John — March 26, 2006 @ 12:02 am
I am a former mormon from a 8 generation mormon pioneer family. I left Mormonism when I was 29, and I was disinherited and excluded by my family. My mormon brother just sent me an email (as part of a list of 35 other email addresses), asking us to write HBO and complain about The Big Love so that HBO would cancel the show.
I think that mormon efforts would be better spent getting Utah and federal law enforcement officials to go after the polygamists for welfare fraud, child abuse, child abandonment, bigamy, financial fraud and all the other laws that the polygamists are breaking.
I would like to see HBO actually demonstrate the real degredations that are going on in the mormon polygamist cults such as the continuous congugal relationships between uncles and nieces so that generally uncommon genetic diseases are now very common in the mormon polygamous cults.
Get real, HBO.
EAM in L.A.
Comment by Edy Mere — March 26, 2006 @ 7:51 pm
“Big Love” is maing it happen!
My hat goes off to the show “Big Love” for depicting the legacy of Joseph Smith’s misguided revelation. Joseph Smith by all accounts lusted after other women besides Emma. He was charismatic and driven by power and all the other enticements men of today are tempted by. He found a way to sanction his lusts through legitimizing unions. He was God’s voice and the creator of Mormon Law. Unfortunately, as the past has shown, “there is no such thing as a free lunch.” Many have paid a dear price, including bad PR and negative connotations that continue to haunt the larger mainstream LDS religion.
Biologically speaking we men are driven by youth and beauty. No amount of praying and self control will make us think or feel differently. That divorce occurs at such a high rate and at times when the beauty of ones spouse begins to wane is no accident. Smith was ahead of his time and on to something that the fundamentalist still adhere to.
“Big Love” is shining a bright light on the culture that is often hidden from would be investigators of Mormonism. Im not saying the show has 100% got it right but its pretty close in my opinion.
As all cultures who are on the fringe of the mainstream, Utah Mormons and Mormons in general shouldnt feel slighted by the show and think themselves any different than say the Black or Italian communites and the way in which they are typecasted and mischaracterized in all forms of Media.
Just as the mainstream LDS church has a right to edit out and sugar coat the past in their own movies and books, mainstream media has the right to draw their own conclusions as to how things really are and let the public decide. What do we have to hide?
Comment by David — March 28, 2006 @ 1:59 am